Just Another Korean Man.

i'm not really old enough to know what a big deal it was when the Berlin Wall came down. sure, intellectually i get it... but the significance and the impact of the wall tumbling down to Germans on an emotional level, i'm not sure i get. the thought dawned on me last night though - what if North Korea and South Korea were to be reunited in my lifetime? news of North Korean leader Kim Jong Il having pancreatic cancer surfacing this week brought on this thought... and should this happen in my lifetime, the only analogy i could quickly pull was that maybe it might be like my own version of the Berlin Wall coming down. can you imagine? (pictured at right, pieces of the Wall at DC's Newseum, taken by moi.)

and yet i'm a little saddened by this whole ordeal  because in all honesty, imagining this man with cancer is kind of a heart breaking thought for me. call me crazy. call me unpatriotic. go for it. i mean, i get there's some crazy shit going on over there led by him. the missile testing. the website hackings. the detention of U.S. journalists. i don't like any of it. but i hear about reports of Kim Jong Il's failing health and i see pictures, and the truth is, i can't help but to think of my dad. Kim has lost crazy weight. he's looking gaunt. he appears frail. and that's what happens with pancreatic cancer. it's what also happens with stomach cancer, which my father had.

my father's stomach cancer was caught at a reasonable point in time, kind of. he thought it was his ulcers flaring up which he dealt with a majority of his adult life, but it turned out he had stomach cancer. the first round of fighting the cancer was surgery to remove about half of his stomach. and then there was chemotherapy. after both were said and done... he weighed about 115 pounds. and he was 5 feet 9 inches. 115 pounds - that's it. it's less than what i weigh today at 5 feet 2 inches. he had lost crazy weight. he was looking gaunt. and he appeared frail - to say the least. so it was surgery followed by chemo followed by remission for a year and a half and then it came back. the cancer. and then he was gone. it happened too quickly, and unexpectedly.

so the latest news and pictures of Kim Jong Il? all i can think about is how he really looks no different from my how my father did... crazy weight loss. gaunt. frail. take away the hair, the glasses, the outfit... he's just another Korean man going through cancer because really, North Koreans don't look any different from South Koreans. they don't look any different Korean Americans, like me. and rewind 65 years ago or so... we were a single country. a Korean was a Korean was a Korean. but today, on one side of the DMZ, at the 38th parallel, you have North Koreans. on the other side, you have South Koreans. not quite separated by a wall like in Germany... but close. a single country of people, separated because of war. and how strange is that? to look across some artificial separation of states and know that there are people who look exactly like you - some likely related to you - but living starkly different lives because of circumstance.

i have no idea what will happen in North Korea once Kim Jong Il passes away. i suspect we'll see the images of the people of the North in deep mourning which everyone worldwide will mock and look at with amazement... oh, those crazy North Koreans! look at them mourning a shitty leader who starved his own nation and was eccentric. the hair! his obsession with American cinema! he was batty as hell! go for it. i can't wait to hear the mockery. and everyone will speculate what the new leader of the throne will be like - a sense of hope, maybe, for a new leader and reunification. maybe i'll get to see that in my lifetime - that would be nice. i just hope though that folks look at Kim Jong Il with some sense of empathy though. because for me? he's just another Korean man with cancer, born into unusual circumstances and made a leader in strange situations. he could have led differently, i know. but my empathy lies where it does. i've somehow separated the man from his circumstances.

Comments

[HumanResourcesPufnstuf]

Jessica, this is an extremely mature and well written post. First let me say, I’m sorry about your Father, losing a loved one is a pain I wish no one had to experience.
Second, as to the post itself, let me just say WOW. It is rare that I (or anyone else I would gather) has an opportunity to read such a well thought out and actualized posting. It troubles me that it takes a big person to understand that essentially we are all the same, with the same feelings, wants and needs; yet a small person is always quick to subdivide all of us based on stereotypes.
I applaud you for your honesty and maturity – best post I’ve read in a long time by anyone!

[jessica lee]

you're too nice, jim... but thank you. i'm totally flattered by your words.

[RMSmithJr]

I was stationed in West Germany at Bitburg - an Air Force F-15 Strike Eagle base and vividly remember the day the wall was breeched. It was an unsettling day to say the least. I remember listening to the live reporting on Armed Forces Network radio when suddenly the audio feed dropped.

In any military attack, the first actions are to disrupt communications. I looked to sky to see if the alert F-15s would launch. They didn't, thankfully. I would imagine there were many primary, non-public lines of communication open and active with reassuring chatter and coordination.

Then we learned more than we expected about the depth of the falseness of the facade that lay behond the Iron Curtain. I hope the Korean 'wall' comes down sooner than not with peace and prosperity reigning across the peninsula.

My condolences for your father and what a remarkable read you have posted.

[Recruiting Animal]

Perhaps if I saw the pictures you're referring to I might feel a passing moment of pity. In movies we often feel sympathy for the bad guy on the run just because we can't stand the idea of being cornered ourselves.

Be that as it may, the bad guy is still the bad guy.

Here's Christopher Hitchens on North Korea.
http://cli.gs/q0P41d
It starts just past the 3 minute mark

When East Germany united with West Germany there were problems because the East was poor and the people had apparently lost their good work habits.

When North Korea joins the South assimilation might be difficult because the people are poor and, apparently, brainwashed.

[jessica lee]

@robert - thanks for your service to this country and thank you for your condolences.

@animal - the bad guy is still the bad guy. you're right. and he could have led differently, i know. but i still feel empathy. dieing of cancer is a cruel death. thanks for the hitchen's talk though. the bit on the differing heights of the north/south soldiers... that's rough and yet amazing commentary on the impact to the lives of folks in the north...